


Discourse

by yuki_onna_sicarius



Series: KH chatfic [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Brotp, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-03-07 08:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13430841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuki_onna_sicarius/pseuds/yuki_onna_sicarius
Summary: A chat fic with several KH characters that got a bit out of hand





	1. Candy Canes

**Author's Note:**

> Character names (note that not all of these were picked by the person using said chat, but they can't change them either)  
> demyxitup: Demyx  
> imzexyandiknowit: Zexion  
> pimp_daddy: Kairi  
> soratheexplorer: Sora  
> aflac: Donald  
> goofy_in_bed: Goofy  
> LordOfTheMice: Mickey  
> fire_crotch: Axel  
> roxass: Roxas  
> chokemedaddy: Riku  
> mansex: Xemnas  
> spearmedaddy: Xaldin  
> getxiggywithit: Xigbar  
> science_vixen: Vexen  
> rock_hard: Lexaeus  
> pup_pup_wolf: Saix  
> rollmedaddy: Luxord  
> flower_power: Marluxia  
> PMSpersonified: Larxene  
> cloudywithachanceofmeatballs: Cloud  
> talktoawall: Leon  
> talktoasquall: Yuffie  
> beeewbs: Tifa  
> flower_girl: Aerith

_**demyxitup added imzexyandiknowit, soratheexplorer, and pimp_daddy to the chat Happy Holidays!** _

**imzexyandiknowit:**  I'm surprised. I thought you would be more creative with your name

**demyxitup:** Hey, don't be mean to me, I'm your boyfriend >:(

**pimp_daddy:**  that's what you think

**demyxitup:** what?

**pimp_daddy:** ;)

**soratheexplorer:**  kai, why is your name pimp daddy?

**pimp_daddy:** oh, that was something zex and i came up with a few years ago that i never changed. it started as a dare and i never bothered to change it

**demyxitup:**  i'm afraid to ask why he chose pimp daddy tho

**imzexyandiknowit:** ;)

**pimp_daddy:** ;)

**demyxitup:**  yep, i regret everything

**imzexyandiknowit:** that's not what you said last night

**soratheexplorer:**  Dem, what did you do to him?

**pimp_daddy:**  Oh ho ho, it wasn't dem that fucked this boy up

**imzexyandiknowit:** ;)

**pimp_daddy:**  ;)

**soratheexplorer:**  these two shouldn't be allowed to be friends

**demyxitup:** too late

**demyxitup:** anyway, I just wanted to say happy holidays to everyone, but also not to everyone, if that makes sense

**imzexyandiknowit:** No, it doesn't make sense, but it's you, so we'll pretend it does. Because we love you

**demyxitup:** ZEXY!

**imzexyandiknowit:**  ;)

**demyxitup:**  you use that emote too much

**imzexyandiknowit:**  ;)

**soratheexplorer:** hey, kai, where are you, anyway?

**pimp_daddy:**  hanging with my brothel madame of course

**_1 picture uploaded by pimp_daddy_ **

**soratheexplorer** : are you eating candy canes?

**demyxitup:** are you wearing Santa hats?

**pimp_daddy:** really dem? we're deep throating candy canes and all you can focus on are our hats?

**imzexyandiknowit:**  He's got a kink for me in holiday garb I guess

**pimp_daddy:** damn, wish Sora had a kink

**soratheexplorer:**  O_O

**pimp_daddy:** guess that's what i have zex for, tho

**demyxitup:** uh...

**pimp_daddy:** ;)

**demyxitup:** anyway...

**demyxitup:** You're eating your candy canes wrong  
  
**pimp_daddy:**  no we're not  
  
**soratheexplorer:**  yes you are  
  
**imzexyandiknowit:**  If you don't eat your candy canes this way, you're wrong

**soratheexplorer:** no, you start on the curved end

**pimp_daddy:** kinky

**imzexyandiknowit:** You start on the stick end

**pimp_daddy:** bow chicka bow wow

**imzexyandiknowit:** ;)

**pimp_daddy:** ;)

**demyxitup:** what have I done?

**imzexyandiknowit:** You've allowed Sora to see what Kairi and I are actually like

**pimp_daddy:** THUS RELEASING HELL ONTO THIS POOR EARTH

**soratheexplorer:** YOU'RE STILL WRONG ABOUT THE CANDY CANES!

**pimp_daddy:** I'M NOT WRONG, YOU'RE WRONG!

**soratheexplorer:** NO I'M NOT, I'LL PROVE IT!

_**soratheexplorer added aflac, goofy_in_bed, and LordOfTheMice to the chat Happy Holidays!** _

**soratheexplorer:** HOW DO YOU EAT CANDY CANES?

**aflac:** why are you yelling?

**soratheexplorer:** JUST ANSWER IT!

**LordOfTheMice:** I start on the curved end

**soratheexplorer:** THANK YOU!

**pimp_daddy:** YOU'RE WRONG MOUSE BOY!

**LordOfTheMice:** Who is pimp daddy?

**pimp_daddy:** Kairi

**LordOfTheMice:** Kairi!? What kind of a name is that for a girl like you?

**pimp_daddy:** zex and i got sick of being perfect

**imzexyandiknowit:** so we got PERVect

**pimp_daddy:** ;D

**imzexyandiknowit:** ;)

**demyxitup:** *sigh*

**pimp_daddy:** back to the candy canes

**pimp_daddy:** YOU'RE SO WRONG

**aflac:** YOU'RE WRONG! TELL HER GOOFY!

**goofy_in_bed:** well...

**imzexyandiknowit:** HE'S ON OUR SIDE!

**goofy_in_bed:** I didn't know starting from the curve was a thing

**pimp_daddy:** HE'S ONE OF US!

**imzexyandiknowit:** ONE OF US

**pimp_daddy:** ONE OF US

**goofy_in_bed:** What have I done?

**soratheexplorer:** kai, zex, why are you like this?

**pimp_daddy:** ALL OF THE SUGAR!

**_1 picture uploaded by pimp_daddy_ **

**LordOfTheMice:** What are you doing!?

**pimp_daddy:** seeing if we can light alcohol bubbles on fire

**imzexyandiknowit:** It's not working too well

**imzexyandiknowit:** I feel like Axel should be here

**pimp_daddy:** WAIT, AX KNOWS HOW TO EAT CANDY CANES!

**_pimp_daddy added fire_crotch to the chat Happy Holidays!_ **

**fire_crotch:** i don't think i wanna know

**pimp_daddy:** HOW DO YOU EAT A CANDY CANE?

**imzexyandiknowit:** AND DO YOU WANT TO LIGHT ALCOHOL BUBBLES WITH US?

**fire_crotch:** yo eat it from the stick end and oF COURSE I WANT TO BLOW UP BUBBLES, WHY WASN'T I INVITED EARLIER?

**imzexyandiknowit:** You don't want the answer to that

**fire_crotch:** are you still upset about me burning your book? I SAID I WAS SORRY!

**imzexyandiknowit:** YOU BURNED MY BOOK. YOU NEVER BURN MY BOOKS! BUT NOW I NEED YOU TO BURN MY BUBBLES, SO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE

**demyxitup:** WAIT, AREN'T YOU GUYS AT OUR PLACE? ZEX, IF YOU BURN DOWN OUR HOUSE I SWEAR TO GOD

**imzexyandiknowit:** Why would I burn down our house? I'M NOT STUPID, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

**demyxitup:** :O relationship over!

**imzexyandiknowit:** I was actually referring to Axel

**fire_crotch:** >:O just for that, i'm not gonna burn your bubbles

**pimp_daddy:** kinky

**imzexandiknowit:** You know you're going to come over, don't try and deny it

**fire_crotch:** ...

**imzexyandiknowit:** And buy me a new book, asshole

**pimp_daddy:** ooh, burn

**fire_crotch:** didn't i get added because of some weird candy cane debate? because if we're starting discourse, we need to add everyone

**_fire_crotch added roxass, mansex, spearmedaddy, getxiggywithit, rock_hard, science_vixen, pup_pup_wolf, rollmedaddy, flower_power, PMSpersonified, cloudywithachanceofmeatballs, talktoawall, talktoasquall, beeewbs, flower_girl, and chokemedaddy_ **

**demyxitup:** there's a lot of daddy names

**chokemedaddy:** sigh

**spearmedaddy:** It wasn't my decision

**rollmedaddy:** I have a daddy kink

**soratheexplorer:** O_O

**pimp_daddy:** kinky

**imzexyandiknowit:** Looking for employment?

**rollmedaddy:** As honored as I am that you thought of me, I'm going to have to decline

**imzexyandiknowit:** Your loss

**LordOfTheMice:** I don't think I want to be a part of this chat

**fire_crotch:** DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE YOU SON OF A BITCH

**demyxitup:** woah, dude, calm down

**imzexyandiknowit:** Okay, let's just get this done with. How do you eat a candy cane?

**roxass:** curved end

**fire_crotch:** H E A T H E N

**imzexyandiknowit:** You really shouldn't have started discourse if you didn't want your relationship to end

**roxass:** you start on the stick end?

**fire_crotch:** yes, like a NORMAL person!

**roxass:** relationship over!

**mansex:** Stick end or curve end, it's not worse than what Saix does.

**pup_pup_wolf:** YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!

**imzexyandiknowit:** NOW YOU HAVE TO TELL US. I'M WITH KAIRI, WE'RE WAITING EAGERLY WHILE EATING OUR CANDY CANES

**pimp_daddy:** HE'S RIGHT, TELL US NOW

**mansex:** He just bites off chunks. He doesn't lick or suck or anything

**pimp_daddy:** not even YOUR candy cane?

**mansex:** Please stop

**pup_pup_wolf:** I can't believe you exposed me like this

**mansex:** It's terrifying, honestly

**PMSpersonified:**  I don't want to deal with their shit anymore. I start from the curved end

**flower_power:** you ARE the curved end

**PMSpersonified:** what does that even mean?

**flower_power:** i don't actually know. i can't believe you start at the curved end, what's wrong with you?

**PMSpersonified:** I like a challenge. that's why I'm dating you

**flower_power:** i would say i'm offended, but you're not wrong

**getxiggywithit:** Stick end, always

**spearmedaddy:** You just like getting speared

**getxiggywithit:** Soemtimes I like to do the spearing

**spearmedaddy:** Soemtimes

**getxiggywithit:** Shut up, you know what I mean

**rock_hard:** I don't eat candy canes

**science_vixen:** I don't either

**imzexyandiknowit:** H E A T H E N S

**rock_hard:** You eat them?

**imzexyandiknowit:** I literally just said I was eating one with Kairi

**science_vixen:** You two spend too much time together

**pimp_daddy:** he's my bitch with a clipboard

**imzexyandiknowit:** co-workers in crime

**pimp_daddy:** literally

**chokemedaddy:** I can't believe I'm dating her

**soratheexplorer:**...what side DO you start on

**chokemedaddy:**...the stick end

**soratheexplorer:** I'M DATING HEATHENS

**science_vixen:** Do you even know what that means?

**talktoawall:** Why am I even here?

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** STICK END, I'M OUT!

**talktoawall:** YOU WHAT!?

**talktoasquall:** i love trouble in paradise

**talktoawall:** You think you're funny with that name, Yuffie, but you're not

**talktoasquall:** i'm hilarious

**flower_girl:** I think you should go after your boyfriend

**talktoawall:** I'm sitting on top of him, demanding he admit he's wrong

**cloudywithachanceofmeatball:** I WILL NEVER. I'M RIGHT, YOU'RE WRONG

**beeewbs:** kinky?

**pimp_daddy:** kinky

**beeewbs:** someone catch this on camera

**imzexyandiknowit:** kinky

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** hey, tif, don't you have a sex tape?

**beeewbs:** aerith and i watch it every night

**flower_girl:** i feel so exposed

**talktoasquall:** i wanna see it!

**chokemedaddy:** don't we all?

**soratheexplorer:** riku!

**pimp_daddy:** i produced it

**soratheexplorer:** KAIRI!

**pup_pup_wolf:** no one ever asked how mansex here eats candy canes

**mansex:** I don't, but thank you for changing the subject

**imzexyandiknowit:** You liar! We had candy canes like a week ago!

**mansex:** THAT NEVER HAPPENED

**pup_pup_wolf:** YOU LIED TO ME!? I WANTED TO EAT CANDY CANES!

**demyxitup:** why did you want candy canes so badly?

**pimp_daddy:** something kinky, probably

**demyxitup:** not everything is kinky, kairi

**pimp_daddy:** tell me about it, i haven't had morning sex in months

**chokemedaddy:** meet me in bed tomorrow morning ;)

**pimp_daddy:** make sure to cuff me to the bed ;)

**soratheexplorer:** breakfast in bed ;)

**imzexyandiknowit:** Look at that, Sora being pervy

**soratheexplorer:** i've been exposed! BY MYSELF!

**chokemedaddy:** Nice job, Sor

**demyxitup:** i noticed a lot of people haven't spoken up for a while, are you still there?

**science_vixen:** We're still here, unfortunately

**rock_hard:** We're just ignoring you

**beeewbs:** watching my sex tape

**flower_girl:**  And recreating it, tbh

**imzexyandiknowit:** Dem, I'm coming home, Kairi keeps singing about getting laid and I don't want details right now

**demyxitup:** you think i want you in my house after you admitted that you eat candycanes wrong?

**imzexyandiknowit:** I'll try it your way if you try it mine

**demyxitup:**...keep saying stuff like that

**PMSpersonified:** OK, I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE

**flower_power:** I'm with you

**rock_hard:** It's late, everyone should go to bed

**getxiggywithit:** That's not what everyone's going to do and you know it

**science_vixen:** EVERYONE JUST STOP TEXTING

**fire_crotch:** i'm sorry i started this all, good night everyone

**demyxitup:** all the couples here that argued, it's cuddle time, get over it, it's just candy canes

**fire_crotch:** aren't you the one that started this argument

**demyxitup:** GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE


	2. Organization XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demyx has a question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new character:  
> blankmedaddy: Xion

_**demyxitup has added mansex, spearmedaddy, getxiggywithit, science_vixen, rock_hard, imzexyandiknowit, pup_pup_wolf, fire_crotch, rollmedaddy, flower_power, PMSpersonified, roxass, and blankmedaddy to Why are we called Organization 13 when there's 14 of us?** _

**demyxitup:** well?

 **mansex:** Leave it to Demyx to ask the important questions

 **demyxitup:** don't patronize me, mansex

 **mansex:** I'm not the one that made the name official

 **demyxitup:** then who did?

 **mansex:** \\("/)/

 **fire_crotch:** i mean, it's a legit question. we weren't called 13 until rox came around, right?

 **pup_pup_wolf:** I honestly don't remember when we tacked on the 13 in our name

 **roxass:** maybe we didn't? I mean, someone else might have and it just kinda caught on

 **blankmedaddy:** i blame that old guy, Yen Sid

 **getxiggywithit:** Why?

 **blankmedaddy:** because

 **rock_hard:** *long suffering sigh*

 **science_vixen:** And here I thought I wouldn't be a part of any more stupid conversations

 **mansex:** I...I actually think that we need to talk about this

 **science_vixen:** Oh my god

 **mansex:** What? It's bothering me now!

 **rock_hard:** I think we need to talk about your OCD

 **mansex:** At least I admitted to having it

 **demyxitup:** Zex, you wanna weigh in here?

 **fire_crotch:** i'm surprised he wasn't the first to respond, i feel like he usually is when you make a new chat

 **demyxitup:** Zex? ;-;

 **imzexyandiknowit:** *long sigh*

 **imzexyandiknowit:** What?

 **demyxitup:** >:O you know what? nevermind

 **blankmedaddy:** I smell trouble in paradise

 **pup_pup_wolf:** Tell me about it

 **mansex:** >:O

 **demyxitup:** Xem, it seems we're the offended couple today

 **PMSpersonified:** you know, I was having a good day until I opened this stupid chat

 **demyxitup:** what were you doing?

 **flower_power:** i was romancing her

 **demyxitup:** ok, I don't think I want to know

 **spearmedaddy:** I just woke up, why are we talking about the organization's name?

 **blankmedaddy:** the name has 13 in it, but I make it 14

 **spearmedaddy:** We could just stop calling it Organization 13 and call it the Organization, like we used to

 **getxiggywithit:** That's too easy

 **spearmedaddy:** Like you?

 **getxiggywithit:** >:O

 **getxiggywithit:** But you're not wrong

 **blankmedaddy:** then why act offended?

 **rollmedaddy:** Xigbar is what many people like to call dramatic

 **blankmedaddy:** why do you have to be so extra? you could've just said he's dramatic

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Because LUXORD is dramatic

 **rollmedaddy:** >:O

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Why is everyone making offended emotes today? NO ONE CARES

 **fire_crotch:** geez, zex, what's with you today?

 **demyxitup:**...is this because the Starbucks gave you a mocha instead of hot chocolate?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I fucking told you I hate Starbucks, but nooooooooooooooooo, you just HAD to go there. If I wanted coffee, I would have taken it BLACK! THAT'S HOW I LIKE MY COFFEE!

 **roxass:** you drink black coffee?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** You get the most caffeine that way

 **roxass:** really?

 **demyxitup:** and it's as fucking bitter as you are when you ACCIDENTALLY GET A MOCHA INSTEAD OF HOT CHOCOLATE

 **imzexyandiknowit:** YOU HAD ONE JOB

 **demyxitup:** I SAID I WAS SORRY

 **imzexyandiknowit:** /ONE/

 **rock_hard:** I'll buy you hot chocolate if you want

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I swear, you're a better boyfriend than my boyfriend

 **demyxitup:** >:O

 **demyxitup:** relationship O V E R

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Maybe my next S/O will get me the right order

 **demyxitup:** OH MY GOD

 **science_vixen:** *long sigh*

 **rock_hard:** I want you all to know that Zexion just screamed "AVENGE ME LEX!" and downed his mocha

 **flower_power:** you know, I wasn't going to ask, but why hot chocolate?

 **mansex:** It's his comfort drink

 **PMSpersonified:** how do you know that?

 **science_vixen:** T_T

 **mansex:** I helped raise him?

 **pup_pup_wolf:** Xemnas' comfort drink is also hot chocolate

 **mansex:** I blame Ansem

 **getxiggywithit:** Don't we all?

 **fire_crotch:** wait, why?

 **rock_hard:** We would always drink it after a long day

 **spearmedaddy:** Ah, those were the days

 **getxiggywithit:** Yeah, no one was fighting

 **science_vixen:** What are you talking about? You would wander around trying to pick fights just so you could fight!

 **getxiggywithit:** Okay, so no one was killing anyone

 **science_vixen:** You were killing my sanity

 **mansex:** Yeah, you were trying to actively kill Zex if I remember correctly. I had to stop you a couple times

 **getxiggywithit:** Yeah, those were the days

 **rock_hard:** Xigbar, I feel I should warn you that Zexion has a boiling pot of water and he said "I'm coming for that fucker!"

 **spearmedaddy:** If I were you, I'd run

 **PMSpersonified:** how bad can he be? last I checked, zex wasn't that strong

 **rock_hard:** I've been training him

 **flower_power:** fucking run, dude

 **getxiggywithit:** OH SHIT, I HEAR HIM! BYE BITCHES!

 **demyxitup:** babe, please don't hurt him

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Then what do I do with this water?

 **flower_power:** make hot chocolate?

 **imzexyandiknowit:**...

 **mansex:**...

 **science_vixen:**...

 **rock_hard:**...

 **spearmedaddy:**...

 **getxiggywithit:**...

 **flower_power:** what?

 **getxiggywithit:** Zex, can I help you attack him with the water?

 **flower_power:** What?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I guess I can forgive you this once

 **flower_power:** WHAT?

 **fire_crotch:** run bitch

 **flower_power:** WHAT DID I DO!?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** YOU DON'T MAKE HOT CHOCOLATE WITH WATER

 **getxiggywithit:** IF IT'S NOT MILK, IT'S NOT RIGHT

 **PMSpersonified:** unless you don't have milk

 **demyxitup:** i'm with them on this one. if you don't have milk, you either go out and buy some or you buy a cup at Starbucks

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Mention Starbucks one more time and I'm coming after YOU with the water

 **blankmedaddy:** i'm mildly concerned about the healthiness of your relationship

 **demyxitup:** I mean, nothing bad has happened so far. we mostly just yell via chat, we don't actually get mad irl

 **rock_hard:** Unless Zexion is given a mocha latte, then he downs it all in one go

 **demyxitup:** yeah, I forgot to ask, didn't that burn?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Not at first, but now that I've calmed down, I don't think my tongue can function correctly

 **demyxitup:** T_T

 **imzexyandiknowit:** don't make that face at me

 **rollmedaddy:** so have we just completely forgotten about the reason this chat was made, or...

 **mansex:** I vote we just rename it completely

 **mansex:** A blank slate

 **blankmedaddy:** finally, I have a use

 **mansex:**...I don't know how to respond to that

 **blankmedaddy:** I mean, you just responded, so...

 **demyxitup:** ideas for names?

 **PMSpersonified:** Pain in the Ass Squad

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Alcohol Bubbles

 **fire_crotch:** i was very disappointed in those bubbles

 **roxass:** i take it they didn't burn

 **fire_crotch:** no, somehow, they did. just not very long. or very big

 **roxass:** so you're telling me you actually lit bubbles on fire, but you're disappointed?

 **fire_crotch:** well, when you put it that way, i just sound ungrateful

 **roxass:** T_T

 **pup_pup_wolf:** Rainbow Brigade

 **fire_crotch:** wtf saix?

 **pup_pup_wolf:** who in this chat doesn't land SOMEWHERE in the LGBT+ spectrum?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Shit, he right

 **blankmedaddy:** does this mean we can wear bright as all hell colors instead of emo af black?

 **demyxitup:** shit, i second this name change!

 **science_vixen:** Honestly, I'm down

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Did Vexen just use slang?

 **science_vixen:** Bitch I might have

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I'm so proud :'3

 **rock_hard:** *Beleaguered sigh*

 **getxiggywithit:** Imagine, though, someone explaining that the brats beat the Rainbow Brigade

 **pup_pup_wolf:** I'm so oddly proud of this

 **demyxitup:** I mean, we're completely different people now

 **demyxitup:** why are we still using our Nobody names anyway?

 **imzexyandiknowit:**...

 **fire_crotch:** well shit

 **flower_power:** i...can we use our real names? can...can we do that?

 **PMSpersonified:** FUCKFUCKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

 **mansex:** *Identity crisis*

 **pup_pup_wolf:** Shit, Xemnas!

 **demyxitup:**...forget I said anything

 **pup_pup_wolf:** xemnas has officially broken down

 **fire_crotch:** xemnas.exe has stopped working?

 **pup_pup_wolf:** basically. he isn't saying anything, he's jsut staring at a wall

 **roxass** **:** jsut

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I'm bringing cocoa, hold up!

 **mansex:** Cocoa sounds good

 **imzexyandiknowit:** ANSEM SQUAD, IT'S TIME

 **getxiggywithit:** FUCK YES

 **rock_hard:** Vexen and I are on our way over, be there in ten

 **spearmedaddy:** I'll bring blankets and pillows

 **mansex:** Fort?

 **spearmedaddy:** Sure

 **mansex:** :'3

 **PMSpersonified:** wtf?

 **pup_pup_wolf:** Xemnas is surprisingly soft

 **getxiggywithit:** You've never seen a true pillow fort until you've seen one of our pillow forts

 **demyxitup:** L I E S

 **fire_crotch:** i challenge thee!

 **pup_pup_wolf:** let them have their moment, I don't want to deal with this later

 **mansex:** ;-; I was going to invite you

 **imzexyandiknowit:** But now you're not invited

 **pup_pup_wolf:** wait, but he's MY boyfriend ;-;

 **demyxitup:** we'll have our own get together, and it'll kick yours in the ass

 **fire_crotch:** yeah! we'll have a better pillow fort than yours!

 **blankmedaddy:** Xemnas, can I join your group? I could use some cocoa

 **mansex:** Sure. I mean, you're basically family

 **pup_pup_wolf:** >:O

 **blankmedaddy:** yay!

 **imzexyandiknowit:** We'll message you later, once the crisis has been averted. Bye

 **pup_pup_wolf:** keep me updated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what canon I'm using anymore


	3. Pillow Forts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group discusses names. Pillow forts are made. War is declared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new characters:  
> QueenMouse: Minne  
> DaisyDuck: Daisy  
> iTerrathisfamilyapart: Terra  
> aqualad: Aqua  
> ventits: Ventus  
> vaKNEEtas: Vanitas

_**imzexyandiknowit added pimp_daddy, demyxitup, soratheexplorer, chokemedaddy, mansex, spearmedaddy, getxiggywithit, science_vixen, rock_hard, pup_pup_wolf, fire_crotch, rollmedaddy, flower_power, PMSpersonified, roxass, blankmedaddy, aflac, goofy_in_bed, LordOfTheMice, talketoawall, cloudywithachanceofmeatballs, talktoasquall, beeewbs, and flower_girl to the chat It's Time to Duel!** _

_**1 picture uploaded by imzexyandiknowit** _

**pimp_daddy:** aww, I didn't know you guys could be so cute

 **fire_crotch:** wow, that is one intense pillow fort

 **mansex:** We take our pillow forts very seriously

 **pup_pup_wolf:** YOU WERE GONE ALL NIGHT, I WAS WORRIED SICK! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP ME UPDATED

 **soratheexplorer:** woah, wait. what happened?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Identity crisis

 **science_vixen:** But we figured it out

 **pup_pup_wolf:** And?

 **mansex:** I will be going by Xehanort, since I'm the only one around anymore

 **pimp_daddy:** wait, are you doing name changes then?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Officially, yes, but our user names took too much time and effort to come up with, so they're staying

 **getxiggywithit:** At least the punny ones, idk about the not punny ones

 **PMSpersonified:** i mean, mine is true, soooo...

 **flower_power:** i think it's safe to assume we're keeping them

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Anyway, I made this chat because SOMEONE had to challenge us to see who could make the best pillow fort. You all have five hours

 **aflac:** why five?

 **mansex:** That's how long it took to make ours

 **roxass:** that only took five hours!?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Only? HA!

 **roxass:** right, i forgot who i was talking to

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** tif, think the kids would want to help?

 **talktoawall:** what kids?

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** cid and yuffie

 **talktoasquall:** >:O

 **talktoawall:** karma

 **LordOfTheMice: H** old on, I need to add some people

_**LordOfTheMice added QueenMouse and DaisyDuck to the chat It's Time to Duel!** _

**QueenMouse:** Oh, what's this?

 **pimp_daddy:** Daisy, I'm disappointed in your name

 **DaisyDuck:** Why? And who said that?

 **pimp_daddy:** Because it's boring and it's Kairi

 **QueenMouse:** Kairi, your name is so inappropriate! You're a lady!

 **pimp_daddy:** pfft, yeah right!

 **DaisyDuck:** Your grandmother would be very disappointed

 **pimp_daddy:** good thing she aint here then

 **DaisyDuck:** Kairi!

 **pimp_daddy:** \\("/)/

 **LordOfTheMice:** It does take some time to get used to her...less than admirable attitude

 **pimp_daddy:** blame zex

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Ienzo

 **pimp_daddy:** blame zo

 **imzexyandiknowit:** ^3^

 **pimp_daddy:** ^3^

 **demyxitup:** why aren't you this affectionate with me?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I AM. Just not in the chat

 **demyxitup:** exactly

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I give you all the affection I have irl, in chat, I give it all to Kairi

 **pimp_daddy:** aww, I love you, zo

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Also, your five hours started five minutes ago >:D

 **pimp_daddy:** I TAKE IT BACK, I HATE YOU

_**soratheexplorer added iTerrathisfamilyapart, aqualad, ventits, and vaKNEEtas to the chat It's Time to Duel!** _

**soratheexplorer:** if we're doing this, we're doing it right

 **aqualad:** What's going on?

 **iTerrathisfamilyapart:** I ahve a bad feeling

 **ventits:** ahve

 **iTerrathisfamilyapart:** shut up

 **soratheexplorer:** Terra, Aqua, Ven, Van, you're with me, Riku, and Kairi. Ultimate pillow fort, NOW!

 **vaKNEEtas:** *long sigh*

 **soratheexplorer:** yes, Van, you, too

 **vaKNEEtas:** I hate this family

 **demyxitup:** Isa, Lea, Rould, Lauriam, Relena, Rox, and Xion, you're with me

 **LordOfTheMice:** Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Diasy, we're working together

 **goofy_in_bed:** a-hyuck! I'm excited!

 **talktoawall:** I guess that leaves everyone else. ready?

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** oh, no, please sound more excited leon

 **talktoawall:** read my username

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** the wall would be more exciting than you

 **talktoasquall:** ooh, burn!

 

_**It's Time to Duel!** _

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** you know, for as little room as we have, i'm pretty proud

_**1 picture uploaded by cloudywithachanceofmeatballs** _

**flower_girl:** I added the flowers

 **beeewbs:** i think it looks awesome

_**1 picture uploaded by fire_crotch:** _

**fire_crotch:** beat that!

_**1 picture uploaded by QueenMouse** _

**QueenMouse:** It doesn't look very good, but we enjoyed working on it

 **DaisyDuck:** I think it looks great, all things considered

_**1 picture uploaded by mansex** _

**mansex:** We made a new one

 **science_vixen:** In only one hour

 **roxass:** fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

 **blankmedaddy:** yeah, we're the best

 **fire_crotch:** you win this round

 **pimp_daddy:** GOD FUCKING DAMNIT

_**1 picture uploaded by aqualad** _

**aqualad** **:** you know, it looks pretty good for only having had three people working on it

 **vaKNEEtas:** I can't believe I didn't want to make this abomination and yet, i was one of the three working on it. lazy assholes

 **ventits:** i offered, but you told me to go away!

 **vaKNEEtas:** actually, I told you to fuck off, and that's because you kept knocking it down

 **pimp_daddy:** the only reason you helped was because you're competitive

 **vaKNEEtas:** no, that's why I told ven to fuck off

 **ventits:** :(

 **vaKNEEtas:** and yet, we still lost

 **vaKNEEtas:** to a bunch of nerds no less

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Science is life, child

 **science_vixen:** Victory is ours!

 **rock_hard:** We won because we understand physics

 **getxiggywithit:** Booyah!

 **mansex:** I'm tired

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Bedtime in the fort?

 **science_vixen:** What was the point of making it otherwise?

 **vaKNEEtas:** barf

 **imzexyandiknowit:** You're just jealous that our fort is fabulous

 **demyxitup:** but not as fabulous as me

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Way more fabulous

 **demyxitup:** >:O

 **getxiggywithit:** Rainbow Brigade to the Rainbow Fort!

 **fire_crotch:** shit, seriously!?

 **spearmedaddy:** It is big enough for all of us

 **roxass:** partay!

 **fire_crotch:** i'll bring the booze

 **science_vixen:** You say that as if we don't have our own

 **fire_crotch:** i'm not talking about your pretentious wines

 **getxiggywithit:** Excuse you

_**1 picture uploaded by getxiggywithit** _

**PMSpersonified:** holy shit!

 **flower_power:** that wall of booze is bigger than my fucking kitchen

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Believe it or not, we know how to throw a fucking party

 **rock_hard:** Have you ever seen Even shit faced?

 **fire_crotch:** no

 **imzexyandiknowit:** It's fucking awesome

 **pimp_daddy:** :( am i invited?

 **rock_hard:** No

 **pimp_daddy:** >:O

 **rollmedaddy:** only members of the Rainbow Brigade

 **talktoawall:** i think i'm gonna regret this

 **pup_pup_wolf:** we couldn't for the life of us figure out why we were called Organization 13 or where the name came from, so we decided to completely change it

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** i wanna fucking join

 **beeewbs:** or do you just want to fuck?

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:**...both

 **mansex:** fuck it, just come

 **talktoasquall:** i don't really know you guys, but i wanna party, so fuck it

 **LordOfTheMice:** I will decline the offer, but thank you

 **QueenMouse:** I agree

 **aflac** **:** same

 **soratheexplorer:** I've gotta be up early, so i'm gonna pass

 **pimp_daddy:** more for me

 **chokemedaddy:** more what?

 **pimp_daddy:** ;)

 **soratheexplorer:** oh no

 **chokemedaddy:** fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, two chapters in one. i feel good about this


	4. Best Fruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An important question comes to light

**_It's Time to Duel!_ **

**aqualad:** does anyone have any blueberries? i'm craving blueberry pancakes

 **imzexyandiknowit:** No, but I'm going to the store with My, we can grab some for you

 **aqualad:** i think i'll join you

 **PMSpersonified:** i was going to make fun of you for fruit pancakes, but they sound really good

 **pimp_daddy:** damn, i wake up to messages about blueberry pancakes and now i want some. aqua, sissy, i love you

 **aqualad:** yes, you can have some

 **pimp_daddy:** love ya ^3^

 **aqualad:** who else wants some?

 **iTerrathisfamilyapart:** ven literally fell out of bed when he saw your message

 **aqualad:** ven, it's implied you get some

 **vaKNEEtas:** *raises hand* i don't have food here

 **aqualad:** oh my god, van, you live on your own and don't have food!?

 **vaKNEEtas:** hey, i'm an adult, doesn't mean i'm a good one

 **science_vixen:** How do you all live?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Did you know there are entire cookbooks revolving around semen as an ingredient

 **science_vixen:** THAT'S IT! I'm going back to sleep and never waking up again

 **rock_hard:** The first thing I see upon opening this chat is semen as an ingredient in cookbooks and just...lost all hope in humanity

 **demyxitup:** ok, let's move on from semen, wtf zo?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Coffee

 **pimp_daddy:** ah, yes, the infamous wtf facts zo rants off when he's tired. GET THAT BOY COFFEE OR SEMEN COOKBOOKS WON'T BE THE WORST THING WE READ TODAY

 **demyxitup:** there's a coffee shop in the store, let's go zo

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Hnnnnnng

 **aqualad:** i'm heading out now, see you in a few?

 **demyxitup:** yessssssssssssssssss, i'm pushing zo out now

 **imzexyandiknowit:** HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** fuck, i want a blueberry muffin now

 **beeewbs:** i'm a blueberry muffin

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** are you offering to let me eat you?

 **flower_girl:** NO  >:(

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** but you can eat me. then i won't have to see any more buLLSHIT ABOUT SEMEN FOOD

 **talktoasquall:** please let's just move on from that

 **talktoawall:** cloooooooooooooud, where did you goooooooooo?

 **beeewbs:** who knew leon was clingy?

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** you have no idea

 **imzexyandiknowit:** THEY HAVE BAGS OF APPLES IN THE FRONT OF THE STORE, GIMME

 **demyxitup:** ONE BAG IENZO, ONE BAG

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I WANT THEM ALL

 **aqualad:** *long sigh*

 **soratheexplorer:** are there any pineapples?

 **chokemedaddy:** strawberries?

 **flower_power:** interesting question: what is the best fruit?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 **demyxitup:** you just had to ask T_T

 **mansex:** Isa >w>

 **getxiggywithit:** And here we see the elusive pervy nort, the rarest of them all

 **roxass:** i never thought I'd see nort perv out

 **fire_crotch:** he said one thing and suddenly the world is ending

 **pup_pup_wolf:** i keep forgetting you're all learning new stuff about him. you're learning he can be pervy, he can be soft, he can build the best pillow fort. admittedly, i didn't know that last one myself though

_**1 picture uploaded by demyxitup** _

**demyxitup:** he just started eating it. he gave the store owner a twnety for one apple and said keep the change. i fuckign had to buy the whole bag AND THEN ANOTHER

 **aqualad:** i'm pretty sure he did that on purpose

 **imzexyandiknowit:** >:3

 **demyxitup:** fucking damnit

 **PMSpersonified:** so i guess we're just ignoring today's discourse

 **flower_power:** i suggest ONE thing and no one says anything. I SEE HOW IT IS

 **pimp_daddy:** i mean, you DID get an answer. maybe not a serious one, but you got one

 **flower_power:** *sigh*

 **PMSpersonified:** best fruit is mango

 **pimp_daddy:** pfft, it's obviously grapes

 **soratheexplorer:** >:O pineapple!

 **chokemedaddy:** you're both wrong, it's strawberries

 **demyxitup:** bananas

 **imzexyandiknowit:** >:O NO

 **roxass:** actually, i agree with my on this one, bananas are amazing

 **fire_crotch:** rox, i think we need to see other people

 **roxass:** that's not what you said last night

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** anything i can shove in my face hole

 **talktoasquall:** so are we just gonna ignore demyx's spelling errors?

 **flower_girl:** myde

 **talktoasquall:** OH MY GOD I FORGOT I'M SORRY

 **demyxitup:** it's fine

 **beeewbs:** aerith ;)

 **flower_girl:** NO

 **beeewbs:** :(

 **pimp_daddy:** FUCKING GRAPES. THEY'RE KINKY

 **soratheexplorer:** what?

 **chokemedaddy:** what?

 **pimp_daddy:** they're small, sweet, and squirt everywhere

 **soratheexplorer:** >_>

 **chokemedaddy:** <_<

 **pimp_daddy:** GRAPES TASTE BETTER THAN EVERY OTHER FRUIT, THEY ARE THE SUPERIOR FRUIT

 **talktoawall:** grapes are good...

 **flower_girl:** i don't think i have a favorite fruit, they're all good

 **pimp_daddy:** GRAPES

 **imzexyandiknowit:** APPLES

 **pimp_daddy:** GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPES

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I WILL SHOVE THIS APPLE UP YOUR BEAFUBEFBN

 **imzexyandiknowit:** this is myde, i have confiscated zo's phone, he won't be messaging for a while

 **aqualad:** why are we arguing over what fruit is best? they're all good

 **vaKNEEtas:** blueberries suck

 **aqualad:** TAKE IT BACK YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCK

 **vaKNEEtas:** damn aqua, i didn't know you had it in you

 **aqualad:** YOU DON'T TALK BAD ABOUT MY BLUEBERRIES

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** why are we arguing about this? why don't we just make a fruit salad and have all of the fruits because they're AMAZING

 **talktoawall:** the world must be ending. myde and cloud are the voices of reason today

 **demyxitup:** we're getting fruits and cream cheese dip, place your orders

 **soratheexplorer:** pineapple

 **pimp_daddy:** red and green grapes

 **chokemedaddy:** strawberries

 **PMSpersonified:** mango

 **blankmedaddy:** raspberries

 **roxass:** BANANAS

 **aqualad:** see you guys soon


	5. Best Color

**_pimp_daddy added imzexyandiknowit to the chat Hey Fuckwad_ **

**imzexyandiknowit:** Well, hello to you, too, bitch

 **pimp_daddy:** good to see we're on the same page here. now, i wanna start discourse, but don't have any clues as to what to do

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Oohoohoo, I've got the perfect one

 **pimp_daddy:** TELL ME!

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I'll do you one better, I'll show you

 

_**It's Time to Duel!** _

**imzexyandiknowit:** What's the best color?

 

_**Hey Fuckwad** _

**pimp_daddy:** you didn't

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I did ;)

 

_**It's Time to Duel!** _

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** everyone konws it's blue

 **talktoasquall:** konws

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** go suck a dick yuffie

 **talktoasquall:** :(

 **talktoawall:** black

 **beeewbs:** and here we see the real emo

 **imzexyandiknowit:** AND IT'S NOT FUCKING ME, FUCKTARDS

 **getxiggywithit:** Then what's the best color?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Blue, obviously

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** *high five*

 **imzexyandiknowit:** *high five*

 **beeewbs:** the color of aerith's vagina

 **flower_girl:** TIFA

 **flower_girl:** we all know it's the color of your boobs

 **beeewbs:** awwwww :3

 **flower_power:** barf

 **flower_girl:** i looked at that for so long wondering when i added another message to this chat

 **beeewbs:** me, too, I was so confused

 **flower_power:** #chaoticevil

 **PMSpersonified:** i would say pink because of your hair, but we all know red is the superior color

 **fire_crotch:** HELL YEAH IT IS

 **PMSpersonified:** I TAKE IT BACK, PINK IS BEST COLOR

 **fire_crotch:** NOPE, NO TAKE BACKS

 **roxass:** fuck red, best color is green

 **imzexyandiknowit:** 1\. You already do 2. Where did green come from?

 **roxass:** 1\. go fuck yourself 2. i just like green, ok?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** 1\. That's what Myde's for 2. Fine, be alright with being wrong

 **roxass:** YOU KNOW WHAT IENZO?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** What?

 **roxass:** bite me

 **pimp_daddy:** kinky

 **soratheexplorer:** i agree, red is best color

 **chokemedaddy:** no, it's yellow

 **chokemedaddy:** I MEAN TEAL

 **pimp_daddy:** let it be known that riku likes yellow

 **chokemedaddy:** what's your favorite color?

 **pimp_daddy:** grey

 **chokemedaddy:**???

 **pimp_daddy:** i need a color that reflects me

 **soratheexplorer:** how does grey reflect you?

 **pimp_daddy:** i live in a moral grey zone

 **demyxitup:** better than the friend zone

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Says the president of the friend zone club

 **demyxitup:** you know what, bitch?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Why does everyone keep saying that to me today?

 **PMSpersonified:** if i see one more bitch say ANYTHING about the friendzone, i will personally punch them in the face

 **pimp_daddy:** amen sister

 **imzexyandiknowit:** You think I'm joking? I'm not joking. I have fucking pictures

 **demyxitup:** in my defense, i wasn't actually a member, someone just begged me to be the president so no one would know who was in the club

 **mansex:** I agree with blue, blue is pretty

 **fire_crotch:** never thought i'd hear nort call anything pretty

 **pup_pup_wolf:** did you just call me pretty nort?

 **mansex:** I mean...

 **pimp_daddy:** soft nort strikes again

 **chokemedaddy:** are we being soft now?

 **rollmedaddy:** no

 **pimp_daddy:** YES! SOFT RIKU IS BEST RIKU!

 **chokemedaddy:** I AM DATING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN EVER AND THE MOST HANDSOME SOB ALIVE AND NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

 **soratheexplorer:** AND YOU ARE THE BESTEST BOYFRIEND EVER

 **pimp_daddy:** I'M THE LUCKIEST BITCH ALIVE BECAUSE I GET THESE TWO AWESOME MEN IN MY LIFE

 **imzexyandiknowit:** And here I am, stuck with Myde

 **demyxitup:** you think you're bad, you should see who i'm stuck with

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Dude, he sounds bad

 **demyxitup:** he's the worst, i do't know why i'm with him

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I wish you the best in your endeavors

 **demyxitup:** i wonder why he can't be this civil in chats most of the time with me

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Perhaps there's a certain amount of tolerance he can allot for you and he uses it all in person

 **demyxitup:** you sound like you know him

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Hm, I wonder why

 **PMSpersonified:** the fuck did i just witness?

 **soratheexplorer:** everyone being soft, why don't you join us?

 **PMSpersonified:** you didn't know? laur and i are only together to judge you all and have angry hate sex. it's a glorious system we have

 **flower_power:** the best system, in fact

 **flower_power:** and yellow is best color

 **PMSpersonified:** wow, we're getting soft babe

 **flower_power:** says who? *sips beer with sunglasses on*

 **PMSpersonified:** *slips on sunglasses*

 **talktoawall:** i really hope cloud wasn't expecting me to get all emotional and sappy for him

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** don't worry, i have to have the emotional capacity for both of us, i'm very aware

 **talktoawall:** i hate you

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** love you, too babe

 **roxass:** axel, you haven't said a damn thing about me

 **fire_crotch:** i didn't know i needed to. what can i say? you're an asshole, but you're MY asshole

 **roxass:** that's my line

 **fire_crotch:** exactly

 **beeewbs:** I HAVE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND IN THE WORLD. SHE'S THE SWEETEST PERSON EVER AND NO CLOUD WE CAN'T SHARE

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** how are my sloppy seconds?

 **flower_girl:** >:O

 **beeewbs:** i wasn't aware she was supposed to be sloppy seconds, i assumed she was supposed to be too good for you

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** and you're better?

 **beeewbs:** much

 **aqualad:** you know, i was going to jump in on this discourse, but i'm just not gonna get involved

 **iTerrathisfamilyapart:** AQUA IS BEST GIRLFRIEND, DON'T LIE

 **vaKNEEtas:** ven's pretty good for a quick fuck

 **ventits:** VAN!

 **aqualad:** WHAT?

 **getxiggywithit:** *WHEEZE*

 **iTerrathisfamilyapart:** WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO VENTUS?

 **vaKNEEtas:** nothing he didn't want

 **ventits:** YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH VANITAS

 **aqualad:** WHAT IS THIS? WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING US?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** This is so much better than I was expecting *eats popcorn*

 **demyxitup:** you really have destroyed a relationship now


	6. Good Girl Name

**_demyxitup --- > imzexyandiknowit_ **

**demyxitup:** should we tell them?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Should we start discourse?

 **demyxitup:** how will that tie into what i'm talking about?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** You'll see

 

_**It's Time to Duel!** _

**imzexyandiknowit:** What's a good name for a baby girl?

 

_**imzexyandiknowit --- > demyxitup** _

**imzexyandiknowit:** See? Done

 

_**It's Time to Duel!** _

**fire_crotch:** fire crotch

 **roxass:** what the hell is wrong with you?

 **fire_crotch:** nothing at all babe

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** maybelle is a pretty name

 **beeewbs:** diana

 **flower_girl:** meera

 **aqualad:** aqua

 **iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** i second that one

 **ventits:** wait, why are we listing girl names? WHY IS THIS OUR DISCOURSE?

 **vaKNEEtas:** it's not even discourse, no one's fighting, except axel's suggestion, that was just horrible

 **fire_crotch:** it was a joke, CALM YOUR TITS

 **beeewbs:** my tits will never be calm

 **mansex:** Ienzo, what are you trying to tell us with this suggestion?

 **pimp_daddy:** *GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP* IENZO!?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Yes, Kai, it's official

 **pimp_daddy:** OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

 **rock_hard:** Wait, when did you get confirmation?

 **demyxitup:** we got the call today, about an hour ago

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** wait, what's going on?

 **science_vixen:** Congratulations you two. Shall we celebrate tonight?

 **demyxitup:** we're actually about to go meet the mother now

 **fire_crotch:** ok, now i need to know what's going on

 **mansex:** WAIT! YOU'RE SERIOUS?

 **roxass:** SERIOUSLY, THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Myde and I put in adoption papers about a year ago and we got a call that someone accepted our application. We're going to meet with her today

 **demyxitup:** she's due in a month or so

 **LordoftheMice:** I tend to ignore this chat, but I wanted to say congratulations!

 **QueenMouse:** Children are such a blessing, you'll love her

 **DaisyDuck:** I wish you two the best of luck and hope the baby is healthy

 

_**chokemedaddy --- > pimp_daddy, soratheexplorer** _

**chokemedaddy:** who would have thought that zo and my would be the first ones to have a baby?

 **pimp_daddy:** i can't believe they got accepted so quickly. people wait years for that

 **soratheexplorer:** i'm surprised it took so long. ienzo's a scientist, could be a doctor if he wanted, who wouldn't want that for their child?

 **pimp_daddy:** i wonder who will be next

 **soratheexplorer:** from what i've heard, cloud and leon

 **pimp_daddy:** i'm sorry, what?

 **soratheexplorer:** cloud's a godfather, and his godchild's parents are both in the hospital. leon told me they aren't doing so well

 **chokemedaddy:** that's so sad

 **pimp_daddy:** :'(

 **pimp_daddy:** anyway, i hope it's not us. at least, not for a while

 **chokemedaddy:** you know, we've never talked about kids

 **soratheexplorer:** i agree, i don't think we should be having kids for a while

 **chokemedaddy:** but, eventually?

 **pimp_daddy:** maybe

 

_**demyxitup --- > imzexyandiknowit** _

**demyxitup:** i'm so nervous. what if she doesn't like us? what if she decides to look for someone else?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** She won't, I promise

 

**_It's Time to Duel!_ **

**PMSpersonified:** it's very quiet now

 **flower_power:** baby news always makes people re-evaluate their relationships

 **aqualad:** i'm a bit in shock. i had no idea they were planning to adopt

 **science_vixen:** I'm upset he didn't go with Plan A

 **iTerrathisfamilyapart:** i'm afraid to ask

 **rock_hard:** Even wanted to make a machine that would mimic a woman's womb and grow a baby in it

 **science_vixen:** FOR SCIENCE

 **pimp_daddy:** honestly surprised zo didn't go for that

 **imzexyandiknowit:** You all can shut your fucking mouths

 **demyxitup:** just arrived, we'll let you all know when we're done with an update

 **pimp_daddy:** good luck fuckers

 

_**mansex --- > pup_pup_wolf** _

**mansex:** You've been oddly quiet

 **pup_pup_wolf:** hmm? have i?

 **mansex:** Yes, you have

 **pup_pup_wolf:** i hadn't noticed

 **mansex:** what's going on?

 **pup_pup_wolf:** nothing, i swear. just been a bit busy

 **mansex:** so there's nothing you want to talk about

 **pup_pup_wolf:** nope

 

_**mansex added imzexyandiknowit, getxiggywitit, spearmedaddy, rock_hard, and science_vixen to Help Me Crack This Code** _

_**1 picture uploaded by mansex** _

**mansex:** Well?

 **science_vixen:** When did he start acting weird?

 **mansex:** Today. He hasn't been talking much

 **rock_hard:** He wants to have a kid

 **mansex:** What?

 **science_vixen:** I agree. From the limited knowledge presented to us, and the knowledge of how he acts now that he has a heart, I think it's safe to assume he doesn't feel like he has everything he wants in life, which, in this case, is a child

 **spearmedaddy:** How did you come to that conclusion?

 **rock_hard:** The behavior started today

 **science_vixen:** Ienzo and Myde announced today that they're finalizing their adoption

 **rock_hard:** And Isa acts so much like a wolf it's a shock he hasn't just hoarded children

 **getxiggywithit:** What does being a wolf have to do with children?

 **rock_hard:** Oh no

 **science_vixen:** WOLF PACKS LIVE TO RAISE PUPS, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!

 **mansex:**...Fuck

 

_**mansex --- > pup_pup_wolf** _

**mansex:** Do you really want to have a kid?

 

_**soratheexplorer --- > talktoawall** _

**soratheexplorer:** how's cloud doing?

 **talktoawall:** not well. it looks like his friends won't last the night. he's staying at the hospital with them, denzel's here with me and the committee

 **soratheexplorer:** how's he doing?

 **talktoawall:** he's old enough to understand the concept of death, but not really the finality of it. he's doing well for now, but who knows?

 **soratheexplorer:** do you want me to bring anything over?

 **talktoawall:** for now, no, but keep you phone on. i may need something later

 **soratheexplorer:** will do

 

_**pup_pup_wolf --- > mansex** _

**pup_pup_wolf:** what gave you that idea?

 

_**Help Me Crack This Code** _

**getxiggywithit:** Even, Aeleus, how come you two always seem so in tune with each other?

 **rock_hard:** We're platonic soulemates

 **spearmedaddy:** That explains so much

 

_**It's Time to Duel!** _

**imzexyandiknowit:** We settled in Iwa

 **rollmedaddy:** excuse me?

 **demyxitup:** the baby's name, we chose iwa

 **talktoasquall:** cute!

 **beeewbs:** when do you bring her home?

 **demyxitup:** three weeks

 **pimp_daddy:** i'm planning a shower. everyone, get ready!

 **talktoasquall:** i love parties!

 **aqualad:** just get us a list of things to get

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking suggestions if anyone has any for future discourse topics


	7. Cats or Dogs

_**It's Time to Duel!** _

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** which is better, cats or dogs? personally, i'm a cat person, but i can live with either

**talktoawall:** babe, we're never getting a dog

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** and i'm ok with that, but i want to hear what everyone else thinks

**beeewbs:** >:O dogs are obviously the superior pet

**flower_girl:** i like both, though i do prefer dogs

**demyxitup:** dogs are best

**imzexyandiknowit:** I want a divorce

**demyxitup:** >:O

**pup_pup_wolf:** I...am a dog person

**mansex:** You HEATHEN

**pup_pup_wolf:** EXCUSE ME?

**mansex:** How dare you prefer dogs over cats!? It's unnatural!

**pup_pup_wolf:** MY USERNAME IS LITERALLY A DOG REFERENCE, HOW DID YOU NOT PICK UP ON THAT?

**mansex:** CATS ARE SUPERIOR

**imzexyandiknowit:** And that's why Nort was our leader and Isa was a mere follower

**pup_pup_wolf:** >:O

**chokemedaddy:** dogs are obviously the best, they're man's best friend after all

**pimp_daddy:** so that makes cats women's best friend, right? explains why they're so much better, they're so judgey. like me!

**chokemedaddy:** so you're a cat person?

**pimp_daddy:** of course! so i can stroke my pussy!

**rollemedaddy:**...why is this what i wake up to?

**soratheexplorer:** remind me again why i love you kai?

**pimp_daddy:** because who doesn't?

**soratheexplorer:** *sigh* i wish you were wrong

**PMSpersonified:** sora, if you say you're a dog person, then your genes are weak and you will die with no offspring

**flower_power:** NATURAL SELECTION BITCHES

**soratheexplorer:** i like them both equally

**chokemedaddy:** you're always the middle man, aren't you sora?

**soratheexplorer:** you're not using that term correctly, but because i know what you mean, yes, yes i am

**rollmedaddy:** dogs are so much fun tho

**fire_crotch:** agreed, dogs are so much better

**imzexyandiknowit:** If all of the apprentices agree that cats are better, say aye

**mansex:**  Aye

**getxiggywithit:**  Aye

**spearmedaddy:** Aye

**science_vixen:** Aye

**rock_hard:** Aye

**aqualad:** why can't we like them equally?

**vaKNEEtas:** dogs have too much E N E R G Y

**ventits:** that's what makes them great!

**vaKNEEtas:** give me a cat any day

**ventits:** never!

**vaKNEEtas:** I WILL EAT YOUR DOG AND BAKE IT INTO A PIE AND FEED IT TO YOU WITHOUT TELLING YOU

**imzexyandiknowit:** Woah, calm down, we're not here to eat any pets!

**talktoasquall:** yes, we're here to talk about how much better dogs are

**vaKNEEtas:** FOR BREAKFAST

**iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** stop talking about eating the dog! it didn't do anything to you!

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** why did i think we could have a normal debate about this? i know from past experience that this chat can't have a normal conversation because everyone has to be so fucking E X T R A

**talktoawall:** seriously, how /did/ you think that was going to work?

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** *sigh* i have no idea

**beeewbs:** doesn't denzel prefer dogs?

**talktoawall:** HE'D BETTER GET USED TO CATS

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** cats are chill

**imzexyandiknowit:** Have you ever seen a kitten? So cute

**aqualad:** have you ever seen a chick? fluffiest little things, so precious

**ventits:** yes, they are, but that's not the discourse

**LordOfTheMice:** I much prefer dogs

**QueenMouse:** Yes, dogs are much nicer pets

**aflac:** seconded

**goofy_in_bed:** thirded

**roxass:** just woke up, dogs are best, going back to sleep

**blankmedaddy:** does this mean there are more dog people?

**imzexyandiknowit:** We would have to remove all of the people that said they like both equally to know for sure, and I just don't have the energy to do that

**demyxitup:** what if iwa prefers dogs?

**imzexyandiknowit:** I REFUSE TO RAISE A HEATHEN

**demyxitup:** so you refuse to raise a cat child?

**imzexyandiknowit:** I WILL C U T YOU

**vaKNEEtas:** and eat his dog?

**imzexyandiknowit:** I don't know you, but if you suggest I hurt something my husband loves, I will hunt you down and make you hurt so much you'll beg for death

**vaKNEEtas:** and you call me violent

**soratheexplorer:** since when are you married?

**demyxitup:** we're married in all but name

**imzexyandiknowit:** and that comes with arguing over cats or dogs

**pimp_daddy:** and if double penetration is a thing you do every night or not

**imzexyandiknowit:** I mean, we're not in a poly relationship, so I wouldn't know

**chokemedaddy:** OH MY GOD KAIRI

**soratheexplorer:** i can't believe

**pimp_daddy:** just us then?

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** i wish that was an argument i had each night

**beeewbs:** reminds me of that one night

**imzexyandiknowit:** KAIRI, WAS THAT NIGHT ON THE YIN-YANG THE START OF YOUR FETISH?

**pimp_daddy:** MAYBE. I'LL NEVER TELL

**chokemedaddy:** wait, what night on the yin-yang?

**pimp_daddy:** zo and i got freaky with some dude we met

**soratheexplorer:** YOU'VE HAD SEX WITH IENZO?

**pimp_daddy:** who hasn't?

**imzexyandiknowit:** B I T C H

**pimp_daddy:** hey, we call you the mattress for a reason \\("/)/

**imzexyandiknowit:** Well, at least I have your virginity

**pimp_daddy:** sadly

**imzexyandiknowit:** You know you liked it

**pimp_daddy:** can you teach my boys a thing or two?

**chokemedaddy:** >:O

**soratheexplorer:** the A U D A C I T Y

**getxiggywithit:** I didn't know you know big words

**soratheexplorer:** F U C K Y O U O L D M A N

**vaKNEEtas:** i didn't know you had it in you cuz

**soratheexplorer:** you shut your whore mouth!

**vaKNEEtas:** say that to your girl, man

**pimp_daddy:** you shut your W H O R E M O U T H

**vaKNEEtas:** damn

**flower_power** : *eats popcorn*

**science_vixen:** Why does it always end up with you children talking about sex?

**imzexyandiknowit:** Look, we're not all asexual, okay? Some of us enjoy talking about sex

**science_vixen:** I KNOW

**rock_hard:** I'm suddenly reminded of how you used to text Xigbar and Xaldin random animal penis facts whenever you heard them having sex

**imzexyandiknowit:** HOLY SHIT, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT! XD

**spearmedaddy:** THAT WAS INTENTIONAL?

**imzexyandiknowit:** I WAS SIX AND HAD TO HEAR YOU HAVING SEX! I KNEW THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE DOING, TOO, I READ ALL THE BOOKS IN OUR LIBRARY. HOW DO YOU THINK I LEARNED ALL THOSE FACTS?

**pup_pup_wolf:** holy shit, this is great!

**beeewbs:** i've never been more glad to be in the group chat than i am right now

******aqualad:** i'm putting my phone away now

**soratheexplorer:** ****i need to have a conversation with my s/o's right now

**imzexyandiknowit:** Guess I'll go work on paperwork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the yin-yang is the name of the ship kairi, ienzo, and aeleus use in a fic i'm writing


	8. Android or Apple

**_It's Time to Duel!_ **

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** that's it! i'm switching to android!

 **talktoawall:** what happened?

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** THE FUCKING THING BROKE DOWN AGAIN. I'VE BOUGHT TWO OF THESE FUCKERS IN THE SPAN OF A YEAR. I'M D O N E

 **pimp_daddy:** JOIN US

 **chokemedaddy:** TRAITOR

 **pimp_daddy:** your screen cracked after, what, two months?

 **chokemedaddy:** that was my fault

 **pimp_daddy:** how many times have i done worse to my phone and it hasn't fucking cracked!?

 **chokemedaddy:** DO YOU HAVE A POINT?

 **pimp_daddy:** YES, APPLE SUCKS

 **soratheexplorer:** i'm gonna side with kai on this one, android is better

 **beeewbs:** HOW DARE YOU!?

 **soratheexplorer:** DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH APPLE SHIT IS? IT'S WAY MORE THAN IT'S WORTH

 **pimp_daddy:** let it be known that sora is a cheapskate

 **flower_girl:** i like my apple phone

 **talktoasquall:** you got it because tifa got it, and tifa got it to be a cool kid

 **beeewbs:** could be worse, i could have an android

 **pimp_daddy:** YOU TAKE IT BACK YOU BUTT FUCKING SON OF A BITCH

 **beeewbs:** how do you know what i like?

 **imzexyandiknowit:**  I will never buy an iPhone. Ever.

 **demyxitup:** come on babe, they're great!

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Name one good thing they can do

 **demyxitup:** if you turn on your location, we can find you so we know where you are

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I can literally get that information by texting or calling you

 **science_vixen:** I can make an iPhone cheaper than what they're being sold for

 **rock_hard:** In less time, too

 **aqualad:** this is an apple household

 **vaKNEEtas:** well, i'm glad i don't actually live with you all

 **ventits:** HOW DARE YOU?

 **iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** apple is best

 **vaKNEEtas:** i thought breast is best?

 **demyxitup:** um...hey babe, have you had your coffee yet?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Nope!

 **demyxitup:** please drink your coffee

 **imzexyandiknowit:** We're out of coffe

 **demyxitup:** then go to starbucks

 **science_vixen:** DAMNIT MYDE, DO YOU EVER LEARN

 **imzexyandiknowit:** HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST

 **demyxitup:** I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR WEIRD FACTS, OK?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** YOU ARE SO B A S I C WITH YOUR STARBUCKS AND YOUR IPHONE

 **rock_hard:** Ienzo, we have coffee here, please drink it before you end your relationship with your boyfriend

 **imzexyandiknowit:** DID YOU KNOW THAT MALE DOLPHINS MASTURBATE USING DEAD FISH AND E E L S?

 **getxiggywithit:** God damnit

 **spearmedaddy:** Ienzo, when was the last time you slept?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Um, maybe...two days ago? Three? Why?

 **soratheexplorer:** yeah, go take a nap

 

_**demyxitup --- > imzexyandiknowit** _

**demyxitup:** babe, why aren't you sleeping?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Can't sleep

 **demyxitup:** is that why i found you eating raw spaghetti noodles at three in the morning?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** It was raw? I just thought it was crunchy

 **demyxitup:** it /was/ crunchy. because it was raw

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Maybe I really do need a nap

 **demyxitup:** please, i'm begging you, take a nap

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I can't sleep!

 **demyxitup:** would it help if i came and cuddled with you?

 **imzexyandiknowit:**...Maybe

 **demyxitup:** i'm on my way

 

_**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs --- > talktoawall** _

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** how's denzel?

 **talktoawall:** sleeping. why?

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** so, you're still okay with being a dad, right?

 **talktoawall:** yes

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** good. i'm filling out the papers now

 

_**talktoawall --- > soratheexplorer** _

**talktoawall:** just a heads up, cloud's friends passed. be nice to him

 **soratheexplorer:** give him my best. i'll pass the word on. take care of denzel, let me know if you need anything

 **talktoawall:** thanks, i will

 

_**science_vixen --- > rock_hard** _

**science_vixen:** I think we should go check on Ienzo

 **rock_hard:** Isn't the baby a week late?

 **science_vixen:** Do you think it's stress?

 **rock_hard:** Most likely. You know his coping mechanism

 **science_vixen:** You mean pretending the problem doesn't exist until he breaks?

 **rock_hard:** That's the one

 **science_vixen:** Yeah, I'm not letting my grandchild be raised in that enviroment

 **rock_hard:** Grandchild?

 **science_vixen:** I take my role as grandparent very seriously

 **rock_hard:** Anyway, should we get the others involved, or just us?

 **science_vixen:** We can get Nort involved I guess, but I think Dilan and Braig would only make things worse

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so since this has a proper plot now, i'm going to make this a series so i can keep the humor here, but have the actual plotty stuff as well


	9. Power Couple

_**It's Time to Duel!** _

**talktoasquall:** who would you guys say is the power couple of this chat group?

**imzexyandiknowit:** Yuffie, it is literally five in the morning, it's too early to start discourse

**talktoasquall:** it's never too early to start discourse

**imzexyandiknowit:** T O O  E A R L Y

**demyxitup:** obviously it's me and my nerdy boy. i mean, who can beat us? we're the dynamic duo

**pimp_daddy:** three is better than one

**imzexyandiknowit:** But we all know we're the power couple, kai

**pimp_daddy:** oh shit, you right!

**demyxitup:** >:O

**chokemedaddy:** i want a divorce

**pimp_daddy:** in order to divorce, you must first be married, and i'm married to my main man

**soratheexplorer:** me?

**pimp_daddy:** no. zo and i just said were power couple

**imzexyandiknowit:** ;)

**pimp_daddy:** ^3^

**soratheexplorer:** I SEE HOW IT IS

**aqualad:** i don't usually like to point out when people are wrong, but in this instance, i feel i must: /terra and i/ are the power couple

**science_vixen:** *Suffering sigh* I can't believe this is what woke me up

**rock_hard:** I believe Even and I hold this title, as we are the only couple that has actually raised a child together

**talktoasquall:** but you're asexual

**imzexyandiknowit:** PLATONIC SOULMATES

**talktoasquall:** you're very enthusiastic about this

**imzexyandiknowit:** Best parents deserve recognition

**mansex:** What about Ansem?

**imzexyandiknowit:** You mean the man that adopted me and then dumped me one two other people that actually served as my parents? What about him?

**getxiggywithit:** I'm sending a screenshot of that to him

**imzexyandiknowit:** Fucking do it, I fucking dare you

**pimp_daddy:** what exactly soured your relationship with him? you were really close to him when we were kids

**demyxitup:** I believe that is my fault

**soratheexplorer:** oh dear god, myde actually capitalized a word!

**chokemedaddy:** this must be an intense story

**imzexyandiknowit:** ANSEM TOLD ME NOT TO DATE MYDE BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT. LITTLE DID HE KNOW

**science_vixen:** I won't lie, even I was upset at how Ansem handled meeting Myde. And I wasn't exactly Myde's biggest fan

**pimp_daddy:** wow, you really are a power couple

**fire_crotch:** i literally had to extract my boyfriend from someone else's heart, i think i get to say that WE'RE the power couple here

**aqualad:** I had to protect my boyfriend from the darkness in his heart, how do you top that?

**mansex:** I don't know, Isa?

**pup_pup_wolf:** by staying by each other's side and bringing down a man that wants to kill you both after you've worn out your use, i assume

**imzexyandiknowit:** You know, here in Radiant Garden, the murder of young children is highly frowned upon

**pimp_daddy:** haha, only highly frowned upon. it's not as if it's a high crime or anything

**mansex:** THAT WAS ONE TIME

**getxiggywithit:** AND YOU DID NOT DIE IF I RECALL

**imzexyandiknowit:** THAT'S LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF M U R D E R

**mansex:** I SAID I WAS SORRY

**demyxitup:** you're talking to the saltiest man in the universe. he'll say he forgives you, and then brings up the past when it benefits him

**demyxitup:** keep in mind, as well, that zo still talks to you, nort. that's way better than ansem

**soratheexplorer:** will you ever talk to him again?

**imzexyandiknowit:** If he grows a pair and apologizes to me and Myde, then sure

**talktoasquall:** can we get back to discourse?

**fire_crotch:** NO, WE'RE HAVING A BONDING MOMENT

**roxass:** i would just like to say a nice fuck you to whoever started this discourse, because lea is actually running around the house screaming "I'M HAVING A BONDING MOMENT WITH IENZO, WHO STILL HATES ME FOR KILLING HIM" and i just can't right now

**iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** wow, ienzo, you're like, a murder magnet

**imzexyandiknowit:** I'm armed and ready now for any bitches who think they're gonna murder me again

**demyxitup:** he literally grabbed a knife when he said that. i think he sleeps with it

**imzexyandiknowit:** NEVER AGAIN

**getxiggywithit:** That's my boy!

**rock_hard:** Put the knife back in the kitchen, I trained you better than this

**imzexyandiknowit:** You're right. I can murder anyone in this chat with my thighs alone

**fire_crotch:** haha, i totally believe that

**rock_hard:** Believe it B I T C H

**demyxitup:** you have no idea how strong those legs are

**fire_crotch:** wha-

**demyxitup:** i'm actually afraid for the next person who comes after zo

**beeewbs:** ok, so, we've been busy trying to get denzel settled into the house, but i would like to throw in my contribution to this discourse now that i have some free time. AERITH AND I ARE POWER COUPLE, IENZO, COME AT ME BRO

**imzexyandiknowit:** BITCH, YOU'RE ON

**beeewbs:** CASH ME OUTSIDE

**imzexyandiknowit:** I thought we were fighting, not fucking

**beeewbs:** :O

**demyxitup:** *sigh*

**imzexyandiknowit:** ;)

**pimp_daddy:** kinky

**mansex:** Can we not?

**pup_pup_wolf:** just go back to sleep

**flower_power:** larxene and i can't stop laughing right now

**PMSpersonified:** the judgement is real

**fire_crotch:** ladies and gentlemen, the real power couple of organization 13 T_T

**PMSpersonified:** so you noticed

**pimp_daddy:** BITCH THAT'S MY LINE

**flower_girl:** why is everyone so angry all the time?

**science_vixen:** This is a group comprised of people that cannot accept defeat or admit when they are wrong. Instead of doing so, they simply fight with each other, becoming increasingly more violent as time goes on, creating the atmosphere we have now come to accept as normal

**demyxitup:** on the bright side, i've made a lot more friends because of it!

**PMSpersonified:** i wouldn't call us friends

**demyxitup:** was i talking to you?

**PMSpersonified:** i see you've grown a back bone

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** can we not tonight? can everyone just go to sleep and, i don't know, finish this later?

**talktoawall:** you could just turn your phone off

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** i guess

**demyxitup:** i wish we could do that

**flower_girl:** i agree, everyone should try and get some sleep tonight...this morning...you know what i mean

**talktoasquall:** BUT

**flower_power:** s l e e p

**pup_pup_wolf:** time for cuddles

**PMSpersonified:** you proudly announce you cuddle with your boyfriend?

**pup_pup_wolf:** my angst days are gone, now i need cuddles and only cuddles

**demyxitup:** cuddles sound nice

**imzexyandiknowit:** *Grabby hands*

**flower_power:** i can't believe i have to read this

**PMSpersonified:** i think i'm getting diabetes

**talktoawall:** just because you two sleep in different rooms doesn't mean we all do

**PMSpersonified:** the benefits of being only fuck buddies

**vaKNEEtas:** hell yeah!

**ventits:** but i want cuddles :'(

**aqualad:** you can come cuddle with me and terra

**ventits:** :D

**vaKNEEtas:** oh my god


	10. Most Extra

**_It's Time to Duel!_ **

**talktoasquall:** so, i've been thinking, we have some very dramatic people in this group, but who would you say is the most extra?

**imzexyandiknowit:** Oh no

**fire_crotch:** *kicks down door* MY TIME HAS COME

**rollmedaddy:** that's not the only thing coming

**roxass:** dude

**rollmedaddy:** lol

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** must i remind everyone that leon LITERALLY SAT ON ME WHEN WE DISAGREED ON HOW TO EAT CANDY CANES?

**talktoawall:** you liked it, don't lie

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** i couldn't breathe

**soratheexplorer:** i would just like to point out that mickey left his home world with his only instructions being "find the keyblade master, who could be literally anyone in this entire universe, so hope you're lucky, rub the buddha's belly, all that jazz"

**LordOfTheMice:** I was in a hurry, y'know

**imzexyandiknowit:** That's not being extra, that's just being a dick

**LordOfTheMice:** >:O

**QueenMouse:** That is not nice, Ienzo

**imzexyandiknowit:** Neither is leading your henchmen on a wild goose chase

**demyxitup:** wouldn't that be a wild duck chase?

**aflac:** HOW DARE YOU?

**goofy_in_bed:** a-hyuck, that's actually kinda funny

**goofy_in_bed:** and not entirely wrong

**pup_pup_wolf:** I'm going to go ahead and say xemnas is the most extra

**mansex:** Come again?

**pup_pup_wolf:** Maybe later

**pimp_daddy:** kinky

**pup_pup_wolf:** ;)

**fire_crotch:** gross

**roxass:** i need to bleach my eyes

**blankmedaddy:** you two really are extra

**imzexyandiknowit:** Okay, but has anyone actually /met/ Myde? How can anyone say they're more extra than him? I mean, look at what he got Iwa!

_**1 picture uploaded by imzexyandiknowit** _

**fire_crotch:** is...is that a blanket with a picture of myde on it?

**imzexyandiknowit:** It's nightmare fuel

**demyxitup:** it has my beautiful face on it, how can it be nightmare fuel?

**imzexyandiknowit:** This picture is bigger than me. And you're just...staring into my soul

**demyxitup:** gotta keep the heartless away

**imzexyandiknowit:** They certainly won't be coming for Iwa, that's for sure

**demyxitup:** i'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult, so it will be both. simultaneously

**roxass:** are we ignoring the fact that zo almost murdered my boyfriend for burning his book?

**imzexyandiknowit:** If I kill him, then we're even

**fire_crotch:** THAT WAS ONE TIME

**imzexyandiknowit:** YOU MURDERED ME. THAT FUCKING HURT YOU ASSHOLE

**rock_hard:** I would just like to say that E V E N is the most extra

**getxiggywithit:** F O R  S C I E N C E

**imzexyandiknowit:** *Explosion* OH GOD, IT'S EVERYWHERE. IT'S IN MY EYES. IT'S IN MY H A I R. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Faints*

**science_vixen:** THAT NEVER HAPPENED

**imzexyandiknowit:** I have video proof, shall I share it?

**science_vixen:** You're bluffing

**rollmedaddy:** i saw bluffing, i'm all in

**imzexyandiknowit:** I'm not bluffing, I'll send it

**spearmedaddy:** Please, all the gods in the universe, hear me now: please let Ienzo send this video. I must relive the best moment of my life

**talktoawall:** so it's canon now that ALL of ansem's apprentices are fucking extra

**mansex:** Witnessing Even's meltdown was, in fact, the best moment ever. Of all time

**fire_crotch:** did you just quote red vs blue?

**mansex:** Absolutely not

**imzexyandiknowit:** Absolutely

**mansex:** Hush

**PMSpersonified:** who knew nort watched that show?

**getxiggywithit:** Literally all of us

**spearmedaddy:** We binged it together. Nort had never seen it, so we made him watch it

**fire_crotch:** oh my god, this is amazing

**flower_power:** are we going to ignore the fact that braig used the word literally to emphasize his point? if that's not extra, i don't know what is

**getxiggywithit:** YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU PINK HAIRED MONSTROSITY

**flower_power:** is that the worst you've got?

**imzexyandiknowit:** FLAMING PILE OF DOG SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

**flower_power:** why are you coming after me?

**getxiggywithit:** Only apprentices can insult other apprentices

**imzexyandiknowit:** STFU YOU COCK BITING FUCKTARD

**flower_power:** was that aimed at me or braig?

**imzexyandiknowit:** Yes

**pimp_daddy:** S O  E X T R A

**imzexyandiknowit:** Who in this chat isn't tho?

**imzexyandiknowit:** Also, aren't you the one who was trying to choose the most extra flower arrangements for mine and Myde's wedding?

**chokemedaddy:** HOLD ON, WAIT, WHAT? WEDDING?

**soratheexplorer:** WHY WERE WE NOT MADE AWARE THAT THERE IS A WEDDING GOING ON?

**demyxitup:** PROBABLY BECAUSE ZO ONLY PROPOSED LIKE, TWO DAYS AGO? AND KAIRI WAS ALL "HERE, YOU NEED TO GET THESE FLOWERS BECAUSE THEY'RE SOOOOOOOOO GAY AND EXTRA"

**pimp_daddy:** stfu, you know you liked those flowers

**imzexyandiknowit:** ONE BOUQUET COST MORE THAN MY HOUSE

**pimp_daddy:** so you pintrest it, make it yourself, BE THE CHEAPSKATES SORA WOULD BE PROUD OF. IT IS YOUR DESTINY

**imzexyandiknowit:** Or, you know, I could just go with less EXTRA BOUQUETS

**blankmedaddy:** now i know where i get my extraness from

**pimp_daddy:** don't blame that shit on me, do you know how extra sora is?

**chokemedaddy:** he has a whole wall taken up for hanging his keychains. like, he doesn't even use most of them, WHY DO YOU NEED THEM ALL SORA?

**soratheexplorer:** THEY'RE GOOD MEMORIES, FUCKING SUE ME

**pimp_daddy:** maybe i will

**mansex:** Are we going to forget about the time that Zo downed an entire hot cup of coffee OUT OF SPITE?

**imzexyandiknowit:** What about the time Nort got drunk and threw a party because he found his favorite pen that he lost, like, a year ago

**mansex:** Go suck a dick, Ienzo

**imzexyandiknowit:** Don't tempt me with a good time

**pup_pup_wolf:** *sigh*

**soratheexplorer:** O_O

**science_vixen:** Oh my god, I know who the most extra person is, and he's not even in this chat

**imzexyandiknowit:** Oh no

**rock_hard:** I'm afraid to ask

**science_vixen:** Ienzo, you have to swear you won't have a meltdown

**imzexyandiknowit:** O h n o

**getxiggywithit:** Oh my god, you're right. The big man IS the most extra S.O.B.

**spearmedaddy:** Who, Ansem?

**imzexyandiknowit:** H E  C A N  G O  S U C K  A  B A G  O F  D I C K S

**demyxitup:** i mean, they're not wrong tho. the man DID have an intervention for you after he met me

**science_vixen:** *Shrill voice* Ienzo, I trust your judgement, and you have never before let me down, but I am /very/ disappointed in your choice of partner. That /man/ is not a proper fit for you, he is not up to your intelligence level. What could he possibly bring to the table that will make you happy? You'll see, soon you'll grow tired of him and find a /real/ partner to live with

**rock_hard:** Spot on impersonation

**mansex:** He did dress it up to look like a party. Ballons and glitter and everything

**getxiggywithit:** Fuck, I forgot about that. And then he wanted /us/ to back him up

**spearmedaddy:** Meanwhile, Ienzo looked like he was ready to punch the man

**science_vixen:** I commend you for your resistance, Ienzo, I myself /would have/ hit him

**rock_hard:** Right where it hurts

**flower_girl:** that's awful

**talktoawall:** oh...oh my god, CLOUD

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** yes, dear?

**talktoawall:** WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DENZEL?

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** \\("/)/ you're gonna need to be more specific

**talktoawall:** this boy just SASSED me!

**talktoasquall:** HA!

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** what did he say?

**talktoawall:** he asked if he could have ice cream and i said no, and when he asked why, i told him because he hasn't had dinner yet. then he told me that his parents let him have ice cream before dinner all the time and he replied, and i quote, "well, you're best friend is cloud, so you're obviously not cool"

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** he fucking W H A T ?

**imzexyandiknowit:** I suddenly feel so much better

**talktoasquall:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAH!

**talktoawall:** he also found your sunglasses and won't take them off

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** RIGHT, BECAUSE THEY'RE SO UNCOOL

**talktoawall:** i'm sorry uncle cloud, it was just to easy -Denzel

**pimp_daddy:** this is gold. i love this boy

**aqualad:** what have i gotten myself into?

**pimp_daddy:** WELL LOOK WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP

**aqualad:** I just...don't even know...what to say

**iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** can we even be considered extra, or are we just dramatic?

**ventits:** aren't they the same thing?

**vaKNEEtas:** not really. though the two of them DID have a fit when they found out we're fucking

**ventits:** yeah, yeah that did happen

**vaKNEEtas:** i mean, terra threw a CHAIR at me

**aqualad:** yeah, that /was/ a bit intense

**iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** YOU KNOW WHAT?

**vaKNEEtas:** what?

**iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** i hate you

**vaKNEEtas:** don't we all?

**soratheexplorer:** you do make it hard to love you, cuz

**vaKNEEtas:** did it ever occur to you that i don't care?

**soratheexplorer:** A L L  T H E  T I M E

**beeewbs:** i would say that YUFFIE is the most extra. i mean, she clearly set this up to see how extra we can be, but FORGOT THAT I'M HERE

**talktoasquall:** can i just say, that i want to see the video of even's meltdown?

**science_vixen:** WE'VE MOVED ON

**imzexyandiknowit:** MAYBE I'LL SHARE IT BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT UP ANSEM

**science_vixen:** YOU'RE B L U F F I N G

_**1 video uploaded by imzexyandiknowit** _

**rock_hard:** You should know by now that Ienzo doesn't bluff

**science_vixen:** You fool, now you no longer have blackmail material!

**imzexyandiknowit:** You act as if I don't have an entire folder called "Even blackmail material" on my computer

******science_vixen:** What is wrong with you?

**imzexyandiknowit:** I'm not extra, I'M S A L T Y

**demyxitup:** it's true, you can season your food just by having him STAND in the same room as you

**rock_hard:** The salt is strong with this one

**pimp_daddy:** the salt is REAL

**soratheexplorer:** don't stand around him too long or you'll get hypertension

**imzexyandiknowit:** I fucking hate you all

**chokemedaddy:** my, are you sure you wanna marry him? i mean, that means you'll only ever be eating salt for the rest of your life

**pimp_daddy:** OH MY GOD! YES! XD

**fire_crotch:** ooh, burn

**demyxitup:** better than your bland, flavorless food

**pimp_daddy:** >:O

**demyxitup:** i was actually referring to sora

**soratheexplorer:** >:O

**imzexyandiknowit:** We all know that Kairi is S P I C Y

**pimp_daddy:** DAMN RIGHT

_**QueenMouse has left the chat** _

_**DaisyDuck has left the chat** _

**talktoasquall:** WELL THEN


	11. Pineapple Pizza

_**It's Time to Duel!** _

**imzexyandiknowit:** Myde...I'm going to kill you

 **demyxitup:** do you like pizza? :)

 **imzexyandiknowit:** *Sharpens knife* Why yes I do, thank you for asking

 **pimp_daddy:** alright, what's up? why are you sharpening your knife?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** It would appear the Myde decided to buy a pineapple pizza right after we got back from our honeymoon :)

 **pimp_daddy:** i'll help you hide the body

 **roxass:** i don't see what's wrong

 **getxiggywithit:** Besides the fact that pineapple doesn't belong on pizza?

 **chokemedaddy:** excuse you, old man, but pineapple belongs on EVERYTHING

 **mansex:** You. All. Disgust. Me.

 **pup_pup_wolf:** eh, if someone orders pineapple pizza, i'll eat it

 **mansex:** YOU. DISGUST. ME.

 **pup_pup_wolf:** shut your dirty whore mouth, OLD MAN

 **mansex:** I'M LIKE, TWO YEARS OLDER THAN YOU

 **pup_pup_wolf:** O L D  M A N

 **mansex:** I'm not the one humping the old man

 **pup_pup_wolf:** >:O

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** pineapple pizza is an abomination unto this world and i know exactly what leon's going to say so i will say it now: you are disgusting and i'm ashamed so say i'm raising a child with you

 **talktoawall:** i was going to say i agree with isa BUT NOW YOU'RE ON BITCH

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** H O L D  M Y  B E E R

 **blankmedaddy:** *le gasp* THE CHAT'S FIRST HOLD MY BEER

 **vaKNEEtas:** i saw hold my beer and i'm here for it

 **PMSpersonified:** are we about to witness the death of an actual relationship?

 **flower_power:** fuck that, i'm here for actual murder!

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Kick his ass, Cloud!

 **pimp_daddy:** make us non-pineapple pizza people proud!

 **fire_crotch:** because, y'know, we're RIGHT

 **mansex:** FIGHT

 **vaKNEEtas:** FIGHT

 **fire_crotch:** FIGHT

 **beeewbs:** FIGHT

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Hello, Tifa

 **beeewbs:** YOU'D BETTER WIN LEON

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Goodbye, Tifa *Slams door in your face*

 **beeewbs:** #rude

 **demyxitup:** he's only mean when he's wrong

 **beeewbs:** so he's always wrong?

 **demyxitup:** #burn

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Believe what you want, it doesn't make you right

 **pimp_daddy:** OH SHIT SON

 **flower_girl:** can someone explain to me why cloud has leon in a choke hold?

 **getxiggywithit:** CLOUD'S WINNING!?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** *Does the splits and waves pom-poms* GO CLOUD, MAKE US PROUD

 **pimp_daddy:** *jumps over him and barrel rolls onto one knee* MAKE A SCENE AND MAKE IT LOUD

 **spearmedaddy:** I can't believe the image of Ienzo in a cheerleading dress popped into my head and I'm so ashamed

 **pimp_daddy:** he does make a very sexy cheerleader

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Sadly your cheer dress is too small for me and ripped

 **pimp_daddy:** truly

 **soratheexplorer:** inezo, didn't you JUST marry myde?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Your point?

 **chokemedaddy:** why do you continue to hit on OUR girlfriend?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I was under the impression she was available to all of us

 **soratheexplorer:** :O

 **pimp_daddy:** i'm always available for my one true love

 **science_vixen:** Please kill me now

 **rock_hard:** End our suffering

 **pimp_daddy:** besides, we've already established ienzo is the mattress of this chat

 **talktoasquall:** HAHAHA THAT'S FUNNY

 **beeewbs:** the RC knows the REAL mattress is cloud

 **mansex:** RC?

 **flower_girl:** restoration committee

 **cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** YOU B I T C H

 **beeewbs:** COME AT ME BRO

 **ventits:** ah, i love the smell of discourse in the morning

 **soratheexplorer:** VENTUS

 **vaKNEEtas:** HAHA i've rubbed off on him

 **ventits:** that's not all you've done

 **soratheexplorer:** HE'S CORRUPTED

 **aqualad:** oh god, i feared the day this would happen

 **iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** *throws a chair* WHAT DID I SAY VANITAS?

 **vaKNEEtas:** hey, i didn't MAKE him say ANYTHING, HE CHOSE TO DO THAT

 **aqualad:** *clutches heart and faints*

 **fire_crotch:** who, if any, of your group eats pineapple pizza?

 **aqualad:** i find it rather refreshing

 **iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** i like it

 **fire_crotch:** *throws roxas at you* HE'S YOURS NOW, HEATHENS

 **roxass:** B I T C H

 **fire_crotch:** come back when you grow some good taste!

 **roxass:** >:O fuck you!

 **fire_crotch:** N E V E R  A G A I N

 **roxass:** Y O U  B I T C H

 **flower_power:** *eats popcorn*

 **demyxitup:** *eats pineapple pizza*

 **imzexyandiknowit:** *Throws you and your barf pizza away*

 **pimp_daddy:** ah yes, you've rejoined your family myde

 **demyxitup:** what?

 **pimp_daddy:** the trash

 **demyxitup:** >:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **demyxitup:** HOW DARE

 **pimp_daddy:** >:3

 **demyxitup:** SQUARE UP B I T C H

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Hm, do I side with my husband...or the true love of my life?

 **chokemedaddy:** excuse me?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** No

 **soratheexplorer:** did you just confess your love for kairi?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Actually, I confessed my love for the drama she brings

 **pimp_daddy:** or his husband, who is trash

 **demyxitup:** *throws trashcan at you*

 **pimp_daddy:** help! i'm in a worse place than the closet!

 **soratheexplorer:** what's worse than the closet?

 **pimp_daddy:** m y d e ' s  c l o s e t

 **mansex:** You think that's bad? You should see Isa's

 **pup_pup_wolf:** YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

 **science_vixen:** Ienzo, Myde, how do you two have a child?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** We're frauds

 **rock_hard:** You really are

 **getxiggywithit:** Isn't that illegal?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Aren't you a little too old to not get a joke?

 **getxiggywithit:** Aren't you a little short to be challenging me?

**imzexyandiknowit:**

**getxiggywithit:**

**imzexyandiknowit:** Myde, dear

 **demyxitup:** yes?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** Hold my beer

 **getxiggywithit:** SQUARE UP

 **science_vixen:** Did I just hear the door?

 **science_vixen:** WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?

 **getxiggywithit:** Holy shit, Ael, what have you been teaching this boy?

 **rock_hard:**...Ienzo, what did you do?

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I may owe you a new coffee table

 **rock_hard:** YOU FLIPPED BRAIG ONTO THE COFFEE TABLE?

 **science_vixen:** AND BROKE IT?

 **rock_hard:** I'm so proud of you :'3

 **science_vixen:** AELEUS

 **rock_hard:** What? It's very impressive

 **imzexyandiknowit:** :)

 **science_vixen:** Don't encourage this! Iwa will grow up to learn from his behavior!

 **rock_hard:** You say that as if I won't be the one teaching her to throw a left hook

 **science_vixen:** A E L E U S

 **rock_hard:** E v e n

 **imzexyandiknowit:** I would like to rage

 **fire_crotch:** roll

 **imzexyandiknowit:** *rolls die* I rolled a 10

 **fire_crotch:** that's a little too low

 **imzexyandiknowit:** F U C K  Y O U

 **roxass:** seems he raged regardless

_**LordoftheMice has left the chat** _

_**aflac has left the chat** _

_**goofy_in_bed has left the chat** _


	12. Venn Diagram

_**It's Time to Duel!** _

**talktoasquall:** if we made a venn diagram of all the people tifa and cloud have slept with, how many would be on the outside sections of the circles?

**beeewbs:** why yuffie, WHY?

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** DENZEL IS IN THE ROOM WITH US

**talktoawall:** not to mention it's fucking eleven at night, WE SHOULD BE ASLEEP

**imzexyandiknowit:** Why does all of our discourse seem to be started by Yuffie now?

**demyxitup:** i'm pretty sure tifa always takes cloud's sloppy seconds

**flower_girl:** EXCUSE YOU

**beeewbs:** BITCH LETS GO

**pimp_daddy:** alright, who's making the chart? me?

**talktoasquall:** yes please

**pimp_daddy:** on it

_**pimp_daddy uploaded 1 photo** _

**pimp_daddy:** alright, let's do this

**talktoasquall:** zach's in the middle

**aqualad:** wait, zach who?

**talktoasquall:** black hair, armor, does weird squats all the time

**aqualad:** WAIT A MINUTE

_**aqualad uploaded 1 photo** _

**aqualad:** THIS ZACH?

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** i mean, that's a couple years old, but yeah, that's him

**beeewbs:** he's way hotter now

**_cloudywithachanceofmeatballs uploaded 1 photo_ **

**pimp_daddy:** damn

**chokemedaddy:** be careful who you call ugly in middle school

**soratheexplorer:** you know, your usernames only make those comments funnier

**talktoawall:** please, let's not do this now, denzel really is sleeping with us tonight and i don't want to explain this to him

**flower_girl:** i also don't think you want to explain to him how cloud slept with don corneo

**talktoawall:** YOU WHAT?

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** F U C K  Y O U  A E R I T H

**beeewbs:** YOU NEVER TOLD HIM?

**talktoawall:** HE HAS DISEASES

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** diseases doesn't make a person bad

**beeewbs:** no, but running an illegal brothel does

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE BROTHEL IN THIS HOUSE

**talktoasquall:** GOOD THING I'M NOT IN YOUR HOUSE, SPILL THE DEETS

**beeewbs:** i'm with cloud on this one, we do not speak of it

**flower_girl:** cloud cross dressed

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** A E R I T H

**talktoawall:** IS THIS WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT EARLIER?

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** MAYBE?

**talktoawall:** OH MY GOD, I'M SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE WHO SLEPT WITH DON CORNEO

**imzexyandiknowit:** Ok, but legit, we've been trying to find him for a long time, what's his address?

**rock_hard:** I was just about to ask

**talktoasquall:** oh, right, i forgot you're like, royalty

**pimp_daddy:** so i have zach and corneo in the middle

**beeewbs:** i mean, you can put cloud under mine and me under him

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** not anymore ;)

**beeewbs:** this is why we broke up

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** :(

**talktoasquall:** OH, DON'T FORGET SEPHIROTH

**talktoawall:** W H A T ?

**soratheexplorer:** P A R D O N  M E ?

**beeewbs:** oh, god, i forgot about that

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** HA, I WAS TOO DRUNK TO REMEMBER, SO SUCK ON THAT

**beeewbs:**...that did happen

**flower_girl:** :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** OKAY, I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH OF THIS DISCOURSE

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** aerith goes under both of us, but leon is a me-only person

**pimp_daddy:** wow, with the exception of cloud, tifa really has slept with everyone cloud has

**beeewbs:** look, cloud picks really good people to date, he's just too stupid to hold someone down

**ventits:** that's leon's job, right?

**vaKNEEtas:** god damnit

**aqualad:** ven, where are you?

**ventits:**...so anyway

**aqualad:** Ven

**ventits:**...there aren't any chairs available, right?

**iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** VEN

**ventits:**...i may or may not be at vanitas' apartment

**iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** *deep breath* it's ok, this is fine, he's an adult

**vaKNEEtas:** I'M RIGHT FUCKING HERE

**iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** you know, van, you're really trying my patience

**vaKNEEtas:** hey, YOU'RE the one that has a problem with ME, i've done nothing wrong

**soratheexplorer:** well...

**vaKNEEtas:** oh, shut up sora

**soratheexplorer:** i'm just sayin

**ventits:** in all fairness to myself, van has become surprisingly domestic

_**ventits uploaded 1 photo** _

**ventits:** i mean, he even cleaned!

**ventits:** and made SLUSHIES!

**getxiggywithit:** They're alcohol, aren't they?

**ventits:**...the point is he's domesticated!

**vaKNEEtas:**...purr?

**ventits:** ',:/

**vaKNEEtas:** you make me sound like a cat

**ventits:** OH, WE GOT A CAT

_**ventits uploaded 1 photo** _

**iTERRAthisfamilyapart:** *deep breath*

**mansex:** I see a cat

**vaKNEEtas:** technically, /i/ got a cat

**ventits:** while i am here, this is my cat

**vaKNEEtas:** he...that fucker just scooped up MY cat and now she's PURRING! BETRAYAL

**ventits:** also, you gave our baby such an emo name

**vaKNEEtas:** eclipse is not emo!

**ventits:** he also baby talks to her

**vaKNEEtas:** i feel exposed

**beeewbs:** that's how these chats go

**pimp_daddy:** back to our regularly schedule program

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** no, nope, i'm out!

**beeewbs:** and yet, you still have a kid

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** too soon tif

**beeewbs:** sorry

**talktoawall:** anyone else i need to know about

**cloudywithachanceofmeatballs:** leon

**talktoasquall:** no one's said anything for a while

**vaKNEEtas:** i think a couple might have actually broken up over this

**talktoasquall:** i swear, i had no idea leon didn't know!

**flower_girl:** cloud probably didn't want him to know?

**beeewbs:** he was a very different person back then

**pimp_daddy:** i don't think we should talk about them behind their backs

**chokemedaddy:** agreed, i think we should all just put our phones down for the night

**chokmedaddy:** goodnight everyone


End file.
